| S.O.S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[Sep. 26th, 2008|11:40 am] |
| [ | Where my ass is sitting: |
| | school | ] |
| [ | Mood: |
| |  Mew! | ] |
| [ | Music Im listening to: |
| | none | ] |
I have NO money basically, my family WONT bring me my check apparantly and I only have $5 to my name! I need gas in my car enough to get me to school and back or money for the bus. If ANYONE can help me please! even $1 can help cause that means a bus ride.
*cries*
I am trying to find a job that will give me hours, i only got 2 1/2 in the past two weeks
my father wont send me money like he PROMISED he would.
Im so fucked right now
Gods...
Bleh.
Sorry this is so frantic but I have gas enough to get to the gas station. I dont hardly have enough to get to school and back for monday.
*curls up* |
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| An apology much over due |
[Jul. 22nd, 2008|06:43 pm] |
| [ | Where my ass is sitting: |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | Mood: |
| | anxious | ] |
| [ | Music Im listening to: |
| | Rob talking | ] |
Last year, I acted out in a very childish way.
Robin's other girlfriend Crystal, was the victim of my stupidity. Certain people who were my "friends" at the time fed me all sorts of bullshit, had me thinking that she was a horrible person and that she was going to do as Neon had tried to do. Take Robin away. They had me in such a mind set that I lashed out. I did everything I could to to push her out of his life.
I look back on it now and I am ashamed and hope that things between us can be restored. I hate the fact that I did what I did and its time to take responsibility for my own actions. |
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| Its been awhile. |
[Jul. 10th, 2008|06:58 pm] |
Since i updated.
im back with Robin *big grins* And things are going great so far.
Livin in winston now.
just a small update |
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| So, Im an Intern now. And other things. |
[Apr. 16th, 2008|09:43 pm] |
| [ | Where my ass is sitting: |
| | Grams | ] |
| [ | Mood: |
| |  Bouncy but tired | ] |
| [ | Music Im listening to: |
| | Red Hot Chili Peppers-Snow (Hey Oh) | ] |
Yeah im an intern for the VOC, Vanguards of Comics. Woot!
Hopefully one day when i can draw worth a fuck, ill be the first female member? I dunno. Its a goal so yay.
Still in school working my ass off.
Note to self: NO MORE CLASSES BEFORE 1 PM.
FUCK gettin up that early again!!! lol I hate getting up before noon.
Might be getting a job. God I hope i get this. Itll be third shift for my vampire ass and ill finally fit into a schedule i like. School, work, sleep, hang out with friends, repeat NEEDS to be my schedule this summer. Also I get weekends off so those will be the days I hang out at Empire. You bitches need to come and fuckin visit me! Its off Peters Creek!
Ive gotten into a band called Paramore. well one of their songs is fuckin addictive so Yeah. I like em
the other songs arent so bad.
Also Techno for the win still
Ugh so im tired as fuck and i have to mow and vaccuum tomorrow. jeez i hope its quasi chilly so when i push-mow i wont pass out from dehydration.
I tend to be a dumbass and focus too much on getting it all done and i dont drink enough water. Thats how i almost got mah foot cut off once so Ive learned my lesson lol
alright yall be good and dont do anything i wouldnt do. If you dont get caught!
;) |
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| Cell gamma |
[Mar. 29th, 2008|01:03 am] |
Is the SHIT!
Its fucking AWESOME!
Its the first tabletop RPG ive EVER paid attention too!
WOOT!
Yay
today was good |
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| 2:30 in the AM |
[Mar. 23rd, 2008|11:37 pm] |
and i should be in bed. but im not
Im tired of feeling tired. I want to enjoy myself but alot of the time i have felt unhappy or just kinda...bleh.
I miss having someones arms around me at night or someone to curl up against.
Im so scared to get into another relationship but I still want one.
I want someone who is truthful and caring. Someone who wont bullshit me.
But it seems i just have no luck.
Ive tried dating a girl and....i care about her but....i dont think I am good enough for her. I am older and need someone my age or older. Someone who has been places and knows what hell life really can be. But someone who can -still- find joy in things. Who can have fun.
I dont know if I want a guy or a girl. Hell right now I have crushes on both sexes. But thats all. just crushes. Ive only talked with said crushes what, two or three times? What the hell is wrong with me. I look at these people and they are pleasing to look at. I talk to them and find that they are alot of fun to talk to. And i instantly take a liking to them. This does change eventually into friendship or unrequited feelings. I dont know if i will ever say love again. being in love gets you fucking hurt.
Hell even caring a little bit gets me hurt. But i cant help myself. I fucking care about people. Im starting to hate it but then people like my Girl and Rob and Gretch come along and make me see that its Ok to care. That I am ok being me.
I just dont know anymore.
And as for the "Alt" lifestyle which i have been trying to explore bit by bit, i have discovered i am one of the few who are -directly- in the middle.I want to explore the Sub part of things. There are times when I will deny this but on a night like tonight.....I want to hand over everything to someone. to be told what to do, what i should be. That maybe i could if even for a minute be something someone was fucking proud of.
*sighs*
I just dont know anymore.
I wish.....and i know i should be careful but to hell with it....I wish someone caring and loving and who can pick me up by the scruff and set me straight would come along. Someone...tall and dark. To hell with handsome. Ive no taste for many "handsome" men. Someone who I am attracted to would be nice. hmm...not obese but not beanpole skinny. Mmm someone who can give great hugs.
*sigh* See here i go again. Dreaming of something that will be just that. A dream.
Thought things would be different once i hit 19....guess not |
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| Yay update. |
[Mar. 11th, 2008|06:06 pm] |
I have a facebook now.
Kitty Michael is my name on there.
Ive kept mah weight off and kinda sittin at 11-12lost but ima still working on it.
Hehe well been playing wow alot and working on mah toons.
School is going good. makin b's so i guess thats good. |
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| I am so proud of myself! |
[Mar. 8th, 2008|09:47 am] |
Ok i rarely get to brag but
I LOST 12 POUNDS!!
Teehee
Achievement kitten ish proud of herself
Muwahaha
only 88 more to go! >.> |
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| Im not perfect |
[Mar. 3rd, 2008|05:57 pm] |
| [ | Where my ass is sitting: |
| | mother's | ] |
| [ | Mood: |
| | ............. | ] |
| [ | Music Im listening to: |
| | S.O.A.D | ] |
No matter how hard i try to fit in i always fuck up and be myself.
I get giggly at everything and im generally happy. And then I remember what every other ex friend i have says "Happy is annoying" so i try to fit in and push my happiness away.
I dont know how to act around big groups and i feel like i am nothing but a shadow around most of my female friends.
They are prettier than me, or cuter or funnier.
Sorry??
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Sorry i dont fit the fucking mold.
Sorry that i am myself.
Sorry that Im not good enough and probably never will be. |
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| Why does this shit have to fucking happen... |
[Feb. 2nd, 2008|08:17 pm] |
| [ | Where my ass is sitting: |
| | Moms | ] |
| [ | Mood: |
| |  Fuck it. | ] |
| [ | Music Im listening to: |
| | Peice of me | ] |
Im never helping another fucking person ever again. All this has brought me is pain and drama.
Dont come asking me for help when the shit hits the fan. Ive helped you for the last time.
Im getting my cats and the rest of my things, settling my debt, and getting this shit over with.
Never again.
Im starting over. |
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| In with the new, out with the fake. |
[Jan. 31st, 2008|05:54 pm] |
| [ | Where my ass is sitting: |
| | Moms | ] |
| [ | Mood: |
| |  Happy | ] |
| [ | Music Im listening to: |
| | Korn-Freak on a leash | ] |
So my plan to stay single for awhile and not make many friends has kinda gone down the effing drain. lol
Ive made alot of new friends and talk to a variety of people.
But theres that one special guy, who i hope to see every day. We finally got to hang out longer than 5 mins the other day and I had a blast! I really think hes cool.
Started off kind of awkward, full of giggles and laughs, but after a few mins we were able to talk about different things
We ate at taco bell together! yay taco bell! hehe
maybe he can come with me when i write my art paper. :)
Welp....Im just happy to have someone that makes me smile no matter who it may be, friend or crush. My life seems to be turning for the better, even though hardships may occur and bad things try to worm in. Im learning how to deal better with things and Im starting to like life...no matter what curveballs it may throw.
Ive learned what true friends can do and who really cares. And I know now, that no matter how bitchy i could get, or how upset i get, Id never lie as much as i have seen some do lately. I try to be neutral with everyone and keep the peace. Not lie and decieve. Honesty is better than bullshitting people, i mean really.
But in the end, I know Ill be ok with myself cause i was honest.
*shrug*
Who cares anymore, right?
To anyone who reads this, Im done with everyone else's drama. If you ask me to help you lie, i wont. If you ask me to get involved, I wont. I dont want to be in a soap opera. Ill help you with advice and such, but I aint playin any he said she said shit.
~Kitty~ |
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| Maybe i can be happy again |
[Jan. 30th, 2008|06:52 pm] |
| [ | Mood: |
| | =D | ] |
A new light has come into my life and Ive never been happier in the past 4 months as i have been tonight.
I hope this goes well |
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| Im afraid |
[Jan. 29th, 2008|01:53 pm] |
that im too close to the edge
what am i supposed to do? |
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| ????? |
[Jan. 10th, 2008|12:17 pm] |
I just dont understand.
If it makes you happy, why are you still sad?
I love you |
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| Why even have a fucking Journal? |
[Dec. 29th, 2007|07:47 pm] |
| [ | Where my ass is sitting: |
| | This house | ] |
| [ | Mood: |
| |  Fine. | ] |
| [ | Music Im listening to: |
| | Evil Angle-Breaking Benjamin | ] |
When the people you are pissed at can fucking read it?
As of now, Im cleaning up my friends list. Consider it a good thing if you can still read my friend-only posts. If not. Too bad.
I dont care either. |
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| Sometimes my blood relations piss me off... |
[Nov. 29th, 2007|01:18 am] |
| [ | Where my ass is sitting: |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | Mood: |
| | Grrr | ] |
| [ | Music Im listening to: |
| | Basshunter-Tetris | ] |
This is one of those times.
Why even call me family?
Ive chosen my family.
And not one of you belong in it.
Maybe Dani, shes the one who didnt care i was different.. But i wasnt even invited to her bday stuff. Maybe she just doesnt care at all. So why bother? Or maybe shes smart enough and has enough heart to love without discriminating. UNLIKE the rest of you fuckers.
Goddamnit.
Ill wear what i fucking want to on christmas. Im not 4, you dont tell me what i will wear.
Oh and for 'people like me' its called Yule.
Ive never been one of you.
Im not christian, straight, or preppy or anything that any of you are.
Im never gonna be like you.
STOP praying
and stop telling me you are.
I dont give a fuck. Your God and Jesus have done FUCK ALL for me. It was people who believed in them who made my life HELL. Fake hypocritical fucktards. THE LOT OF YOU, save for a few with fucking brains.
Yeah Im not married and im prolly preggo. So what? I aint got no regrets. I likedit. Youll never babysit. Youll hardly get to see my child. I dont want you fucking my child up the way you did to me.
And if its MY life why are you trying to fucking control it still? FUCK OFF. Ive got people who help me when i dont understand something and they tell me the TRUTH and no fucked up lies.
I dont give a FUCK if youre offended!! |
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| HAHA cute |
[Nov. 13th, 2007|05:32 pm] |
Your Boy Side
[x] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[] Dogs are better than cats.
[x] It's hilarious when people get hurt. (not at all. )
[ ] You've played with/against boys on a team.
[ ] Shopping is torture.
[x] Sad movies suck.
[x] You own an X-Box.
[x] Played with Hotwheels cars as a kid.
[x] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[x] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[ ] You watch sports on TV.
[x] Gory movies are cool
[ ] You go to your dad for advice.
[ ] You own like a trillion baseball caps.
[ ] You like going to football games.
[ ] You used to/do collect baseball cards.
[x] Baggy pants are cool to wear.
[ ] It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[ ] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[ ] Sports are fun.
[x] Talk with food in your mouth.
[x] Wear boxers.
[ ] If a girl you wish you had a peen
Total = 13
Your Girl Side
[ ] You wear lip gloss.
[] You love to shop.
[x] You wear eyeliner.(not all the time)
[] You have some of the same shirts in different colors.
[] You wear the color pink.
[] Go to your mom for advice. (mostly for emotional advice
[ ] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[] You hate wearing the color black. (gets dirty too easy)
[x] You like hanging out at the mall.
[x] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[ ] You like wearing jewelry.
[ ] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[ ] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[ ] You don't like the movie Star Wars.
[ ] You are/were in cheer leading, gymnastics or dance.
[] It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed, and put on make-up and accessories.
[ ] You smile a lot more than you should.
[] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] You care about what you look like.
[x] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[] You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
[x] You wear girl underwear.
[x] Used to play with dolls as little kid.
[ ] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it.
[x] Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored.
Total = 8
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA |
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indianirishpunk's journal
